Special Education During COVID
Journals
September 27, 2020
I thought that this year being a senior and all would be easy. Previous seniors all “claimed” that senior year is so easy. I feel like they lied. Already two and half weeks into senior year and I'm struggling. So far my classes have been easy but college preparation and capstone have been tough. Doing everything online is hard, as I have to force myself every morning to get ready and sit in front of a screen for eight hours. Even though it's only been two weeks I feel like it's been more especially since my eyes are burning to stare at a screen. I never liked to use a computer to do my school work, but here I am stuck with this as the only option. It seems like senior year is going to be a rough year; a day before school started I found out my great grandmother isn’t doing well. I really want to go see her but because of COVID it's nearly impossible to travel all the way to Canada just to not be able to go into the hospital to visit her. I feel a bit lost from learning about this and not being able to be with her.
For capstone, I had an idea last year that I really wanted to do, I can still do it, but I have no clue how to think about it. Losing my other great grandmother last year sparked this idea in me, but learning that my other great grandmother is also not doing well makes me want to do this idea, successfully. I wanted to read to the elder. Reading is something that I found to love over the years. When I was younger my great grandmother who passed, read to me every night. I feel like reading to older people would bring them the joy of reading like I have now during my youth. There's something about reading that makes it timeless and classic by having a piece of writing existing throughout generations to share.
Another idea for capstone I have is sparked from my love for children and helping others. Growing up I loved taking care of my younger cousins, as they reciprocated the love back to me.
Helping people grew from taking care of others, as I always wanted to be someone who could be relied on. My other idea spanned from my time as a tutor here at school. I was one to always struggle with math, but in highschool I understood how other students felt the same way I had used to, so I made it a mission to make sure I can teach them to the best of my ability with a topic they don’t understand. For me this empowered me to have to work my brain to remember topics but to also gain the satisfaction of knowing that other students are taking something out of what I’m teaching them.
October 30, 2020
This month was an eventful, uneventful month. There were my mom and grandfather’s birthdays, SAT day, and my license came in. I was able to pass my drivers test in the end of September, to which my license came in on October 15th. SAT day was the same day as my mother’s birthday so I felt bad that I couldn't really get to celebrate it with her on that day as she had to also work. On the weekend though we went to a restaurant to celebrate even though we were overly dressed for a casual dinner. The following Monday was my grandfather's birthday and we decided to have a family dinner which is usually difficult to do especially since covid-19 but we made do with what we had. Getting to spend time with my family even though it was for birthdays made me feel happy knowing that everyone was safe.
Although my family time was very active in terms of seeing and spending time with them, my school work had increased. I was doing final touches to my college applications specifically for UCONN to submit it for the Day of Pride scholarship. I heard it was a very difficult scholarship to even get into, but it doesn't hurt to try, so I tried anyway. I had finished my college essay and application, submitted all the forms for the scholarship and finally clicked submit. Submitting the application made me feel overwhelmed but content with knowing that I completed the first step I needed to take.
For capstone I have been making lots of progress. Although it's been difficult to see the students I have been working with I feel happy knowing that they are liking the things I am creating and doing for them. The teacher I work with as my mentor had asked me to record myself reading books for the students to follow along too. I enlisted the help from my friend who works at a library to send me books that we would think the students would like. She had also helped me with recording the videos by helping me find a professional setting to record, a quiet and well lit room as well as zooming in and out of the books. Without her help my task would have been difficult. I was able to record about 17 stories which I had to speak loud, clear and with different tones to engage the audience. It was a bit difficult but in the end rewarding.
November 13, 2020
This month has been going by fairly quickly. We had a change in time, which I’m still not used to. Election day which Biden is now president. SAT scores came out. And a change in COVID status. The time changed although it went back an hour it's getting darker quicker, prompting me to get tired earlier in the day, but it has been allowing me to finish school work quicker. The election day was a heated debate where it took two days to finalize a winner, many states that were usually red changed to blue. My SAT scores came out and I was shocked. Somehow I was able to bring my reading score up by fifty points, I'm so proud of myself.
I was able to finally hang out with one of my old friends after cancelling so many times with her. I decided last minute if she wanted to hang out, but we decided to see each other the next day. Honestly it was for the best as we went through with our plans a day before there would have been some consequences. We wanted to go to the mall but we found out there was a shooting that occured, which almost derailed our plans, for like the third time. But we finally met up. I spent the day with her and caught up with each like how we usually did when we were in school. I felt great to have one normal day before COVID changed anything.
I submitted all my college applications which I am happy about so I don't have to stress about that, but FAFSA is a huge problem. I absolutely hate it, it's very confusing that I have given up for about three times.
I had gotten news that the students loved Ms. Bri’s story time. I loved that they were engaged with my stories and was happy to get the feedback from the teacher and her aids. For me even though it was one book I felt like I made a difference in showing them that learning is universal and could be taught from all over the world.
December 20, 2020
This month was nostalgic but also challenging. I thought the month would have been a breeze, but right off the bat it started being tough. I learned that I had lost my last great-grandmother. I was shocked, but what really made me upset was not being able to go to her funeral. Since she lives in Canada it was impossible to go since the borders are closed due to Covid. On top of that school was being stressful with work piling up before the holidays. I tried to take a break and enjoy the holidays which I had. I baked cakes, decorated the Christmas tree and the house with Christmas decorations as well as talked to my family members via video chat. Although I was not able to see anyone this Christmas I was able to make it memorable with my immediate family. We had family breakfast, danced, laughed and spent time with each other. I enjoyed the little moments that were overwhelmed during the past years due to traveling. For New Years Eve, I went with my family to New York. I was expecting New York to be very packed because of the ball drop, but because of precautions the streets were deserted. It was my first time going to New York on New Years Eve but I enjoyed it, while spending time with my cousins. I was able to ring in the New Years with my cousins as well as celebrate my cousin's birthday. My cousin had three birthday cakes which were very good even though it was too much. Although December was difficult, hopefully the new year brings in new luck and good changes.
Reflecting back on the year although it had started off great, but things changed early on school was difficult but I soon was able to get accustomed to it and the challenges that I had to face by thinking of other ways to get things done. I have accomplished things like being a senior, getting my license and learning how to bake. It's the little wins that make me feel like although the year was terrible with so many downfalls and restrictions I still made it through. Hopefully next year even with the same restrictions I can better myself.
January 31, 2021
For this month I was able to take a break from all my college planning and focus on myself and schoolwork. The first semester ended so I had to really toughen up and focus hard on completing all my assignments. I had a hard time with completing essay after essay with projects piling on top of that but I surprisingly pulled through.
For my new year's resolution I said I had wanted to work on my physical and mental health better. With my plans of physical health I have been able to obtain it by taking time out of my day to workout. Mentally it has been a bit of a challenge with the piling up with schoolwork but I have been able to allocate time to attend to chores and resting.
It was my best friends birthday so she really wanted to spend time with me and a couple other friends, so she came out of her way to pick me up to hang out with her. We went to this pottery painting place called The Firestone located in Downtown Manchester. It was a quiet place where you could choose a piece of art to paint. I decided to choose a bowl with a design of a wave. The bowl I chose sparked a feeling of calmness within me when I chose shades of blues and greens to create an ocean wave. The process of painting was very therapeutic and relaxing where I was able to focus and spend time with my friends. While painting time seemed to escape where the painting lasted four hours and I wasn’t rushed or anything. I absolutely loved the experience and cannot wait to go back again.
For one of my school projects I had to create a cooking show all in Spanish. My cousin and I decided to work on the project and cook together. We had fun cooking together which took very long. We ended up burning our final product, but it still tasted very good. I liked that I was able to hang out with her as we don’t get to see each other a lot, even during school too. And speaking in Spanish was somewhat difficult, but because of it we had a lot of bloopers to show.
February 28, 2021
This month I didn't have much leisurely activities to do. I found myself preoccupied with school and trying to stay with my new year's goal. I created a schedule that works well for me and I found that exercising has been becoming fun to me. I worked on my capstone project finding research and figuring out what I want to write about. I knew the direction I wanted to go with for my paper, but it was complicated to follow through with my idea. I asked for a lot of help from Boutilier before and after school. The most I felt like I have done for my paper and knowing what I want to address in the paper was being able to interview both my mentor and Boutilier. The interviews were very helpful to gain information about the differences between a general education and special education, from two teachers that teach in those areas. I found while conducting those interviews it was the best idea for me to talk with them as I was able to hear stories and ask more questions to get a better understanding of how these teachers felt. I noticed while comparing both of the interviews was that even though the teachers are in different levels of education, they both find one thing in common, online learning. I found that them both have the same issue with online education showing that it is difficult to attend to both students inside and outside of the classroom where they feel overwhelmed and distracted trying their best to help all of their students. This interview was very interesting and important for how I was going to write my paper. With the interviews I felt like my research paper found a foundation to have a certain direction it was going towards.
I also had learned in other classes how to use photoshop and ways to deal with stress. In my graphic art class, a photoshop software was introduced. I found it difficult to understand as I personally hate using things that are very technical. It took many trials and errors to understand the software but I believe with more practice I could get better using it. For my psychology class we were learning about stress, stressors and how to deal and cope with it. I found that stress can affect many body systems as well as I learned about the differences between good and bad stress. I felt like this month was uneventful but progresive in school.
March 31, 2021
For this month it was calming and engaging. March is my birthday month so I was very excited to celebrate turning 18. Many people have asked if 18 feels different, but in all honesty it really hasn’t. I decided to celebrate my birthday by having a family dinner which my mother barbequed and we ordered sushi. I had also gotten a chocolate raspberry cake and edible arrangements fruits too. I decided to buy myself an ipad and books for my present as I’ve been researching and saving up for an ipad so I decided to purchase it. It is an ipad air green colored with the apple pencil that I had engraved my initials on. For the books I decided to purchase two of them I happened to be interested in so I eventually will start to read them. The day after my birthday I decided to go on a walk with my mother at the Simsbury reservoir, we visited the car dealership to look into a potential car but we were unsuccessful. We had ended off our day eating out at a restaurant and going shopping. I felt like my birthday was a success being able to spend time with my family, and hearing from old friends and family wishing me a happy birthday.
For school I was fairly productive finishing and accomplishing many details in my capstone project. I was able to complete my final research paper, the mission statement, and the “all about me” segments for my capstone. As for other classes I was able to finish two projects using Pixlr for graphic art, and completing a mental disorder project as well as a movie review on a mental disorder portrayed, in my psychology class. Since I had bought my ipad I decided to stop writing my notes and work for my classes on notebooks, wasting paper, and instead downloaded note taking apps to write and then upload to post for my assignments. I find using the ipad effective and less wasteful being able to erase mistakes that I couldn't do when writing in pen. It also allows me to see better because it was difficult to see to take notes in the mornings, but with being able to change the brightness I can see better. Although some students have returned to school, I decided to stay home for a while longer as spring break is coming up and the quarter is ending, I feel like maybe till May I would consider returning to school.
April 19, 2021
This month has been very productive and progressive for my capstone. I found that I was fortunate to visit Hawaii for the first time during spring break. I was so excited to go. The journey to Hawaii was a bit hectic and overwhelming, but once I stepped off the plane I was in awe. As soon as I walked out I could see the bright sky, swaying palm trees and could feel the heat. As soon as we got there the drive to the hotel was magical. You can see everything from the mountains to the houses and the sea. During the trip I was able to see different sights like the sunset off of a cliff, the night lights on the mountain tops and the various blue beaches. On top of that I was able to eat so much food, which was what I was the most excited about. I tried foods that were local to Hawaii, like musubi, spam, seaweed rice snack, snow cones dusted in a li hing powder, a plum powder made on the island, and poke. I also got to try places like Cane’s, Jollibee's and Korean fried chicken. This was like my food heaven. But besides the sights and foods, I was able to visit my mentor.
I was fortunate to visit her classroom and be able to shadow for a day. I was both nervous and excited. Although I had school, which the time difference did not help I still managed to push through the day. In the morning we had gotten picked up by one of her assistants and drove to school. One I saw the school I was immediately confused. The layout of the school was interesting where the campus was very huge. I signed in with my mentor and made my way to her classroom. Upon arrival I met another mentor and tried to familiarize myself with her room. I noticed that there was a bathroom, a smaller room within the classroom. There were also bikes, a trampoline and tall black walls. Walking around I noticed the classroom rules I created were put up around the room and each of her students' desks. The first two students had arrived, they were brothers and new to the classroom as they have been online before. They were friendly to me and very energetic. Soon enough other students started to arrive with their aids. I was able to greet the aids while trying to figure out the students' names. Most students noticed me while others ignored me but I didn't mind. Later they started their morning meetings which consisted of them singing and dancing along to various songs with letters, numbers and seasons, I was participating with their meeting too. For individual work I was able to work with one kindergarten student with tracing. I had to use my finger and show them where to trace and when to stop, it took a lot of patience but we were able to finish three worksheets. Another student I had worked with was also a kindergartener who I was teaching him how to identify, place and say the alphabet. This was a bit more difficult for me because he would say the letter but when it came to place them where they belonged he didn't want to do it, until he was ready to leave which then he did it perfectly and quickly, surprising me. Later after the in-person students left, the online classes began. I was able to participate with two students video calls, where I did exercises with one and the other I had a read aloud with. For the student with a read aloud, he was very excited to see me as he was one of the students who watched my “Miss Bri’s story times”. He wanted me to read to him, which I was super excited to do. After online classes were done, I was able to converse with some of the aids and listen to their challenges and wishes about the classroom. Based on listening to them I decided to talk with my mentor and come up with ideas for her classroom that benefitted all her staff and students. I was also able to meet her mentors as well, which I made a friend in one of them. I had really liked visiting her classroom and maybe in the future I could go back and help again.